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During a breakup, you will likely lean on someone you know to help get you through it successfully. Vaughn (1986: 36-37) labeled the person serving in this role a transition person. This is the person who will assist you through the transition from breakup victim, to successful breakup survivor.
An effective transition person is indeed worth their weight in gold. They are an invaluable part of the breakup equation. They serve as the solid rock you will lean on during the inherently rough times. This person will be there looking out for you and your best interest(s). On other words, the transition person will have your back during the breakup.
Let me be clear about this, you may not always enjoy the company of your transition person during this trying period. This fact makes the role of transition person a tough role to fill. The transition person has to be able to tell you what is really happening at all times; even if you don’t especially want to hear what they have to say (and you probably won’t always want to hear what they have to say). But despite this likelihood, they are on your side and are there to assist you.
Before anyone experiences a breakup, most people aren’t even aware of the existence of this type of person. Nor are they aware of the central role the transition person will play in this terminal phase of a relationship. Many people undergoing this phase just count on their closest friend to step up to the challenge. But just because a person is your best friend, that doesn’t mean they possess the necessary skills to serve in such a capacity. In fact, best friends may prove to be inept in the role. Merely being able to agree with deprecating or denigrating remarks about someone’s ex isn’t a surefire way of helping them get over their ex.
The dynamics of how your transition person will emerge and serve your cause will be discussed in the chapter Your Transition Person: Coach, Drill Sgt., Sage, True Friend.