“… a mind, if given only the best food never craves any other:”
– Rheta Childe Dorr
“Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.”
– Natalie Portman
Even in a strong, healthy relationship, both partners may not be equally interested in the same type of intellectually-stimulating material. In fact, it’s very likely that partners will have different intellectual interests. Today, in a relatively educated society, some people also need more intellectual stimulation than others.
These types are always reading about some new theory or a new discovery of some sort. They thoroughly enjoy talking about, and debating with others, their newfound knowledge. If an intellectual partner is paired with a non-intellectual person (a non-intellectual in this sense does not necessarily refer to someone without “smarts”), the intellectual-minded partner often feel like he/she is caged-in, stifled, smothered and ready to break out of his/her perceived confinement.
Whenever the relationships of these intellectual types get to this point, they will seek out other intellectuals to engage in conversation. If they are not afforded a legitimate outlet for such intellectual activity, they may find a secret venue to meet their needs.
Sometimes even two intellectuals may not enjoy the same type of intellectual stimulation. My last girlfriend, for example, didn’t really enjoy talking about sociological theory. I, on the other hand, was fascinated by it!
I would constantly read whatever social theory book I could get my hands on. She would make remarks such as, “You pay more attention to those books than you do to me.” I told her that I needed to read about theoretical sociology and discuss it with someone, or I was going to get frustrated. She eventually came to understand my point of view.
After that, I was able to enjoy my passion. In fact, she even volunteered to drive me to and from a weekly theory discussion group a few of us graduate students had started to do just that: discuss social theory.
